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Observations on Whinging From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (2 hours old)

Why me? Why fucking me? Why does anyone who feels like a good whinge and bitch and gripe and moan, often about things I have nothing to do with and bugger all interest in, think its funny to do it in … more

Observations on The Good Old Days From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (19 hours old)

Of all the things my mother is not entirely good at, living in the 21st century is probably top of the list. Anything technical baffles her. To watch her try and write a text is painful. I have seen a… more

DIRRRRTY JOKE FRIDAY!!!! From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (1 day old)

Saucier than Sarah Harding in a spitroast. Dodgier than Robert Maxwells cheque book. Its Dirty Joke Friday time!!!! A pirate walks into a pub and the bar man says 'Jesus mate, what happened to you? W… more

Observations on My Abrupt Departure From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (1 day old)

There one minute gone the next. A bit like Wayne Rooneys barnet. I apologise profusely but my brother pitched up to give me a hand taking some back to mine and besides beer was calling. So to make up… more

Pompeys Guide To Cleaning A Bathroom From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (1 day old)

Well since I think I am supremely well qualified in the ways and wherefores of brushing a bog now (I aint big headed or anything but I'm starting to class myself as an expert), I thought I would pass … more

Observations on Cleaning From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (2 days old)

I guess Mala's post on house work yesterday finally shamed me into shifting my arse into gear and getting my flat all nice and sparkley before Kim and Aggie paid an impromptu visit to sniff my khazi o… more

Observations on Pompeys Book From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (3 days old)

For years now I have been threatening to write a book about the weird, 'wonderful' and often whacked out world of catering. I figured that since I have at worked in some of the biggest dumps ever to a… more

Observations on A Kind Of Spying From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (4 days old)

Now please don't get me wrong. I have no intention of becoming the next James Bond (I cant stand vodka martinis for one thing), but a rather surprise by product of me putting a Feejit thingy on OFASI … more

Observations on Wake Up England From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (5 days old)

So that was it folks. If you didn't know it before Saturday you should now. England have got about as much chance of winning the next World Cup as I have of indulging in bedroom aerobics with Cheryl C… more

Observations on Car Crash TV From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (5 days old)

I goes to mothers house and for reasons that I sincerely hope she will keep to herself she is watching something called Drownwatch Miami or Beachside ballsups USA. I may not be entirely correct with t… more

Observations on Bashing The Bishop From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (6 days old)

Heres one from this mornings paper that fairly startled me I can tell you. Schools in Spain are to start giving their pupils lessons in how to Jack (and presumably Jill) off. Oh well at least Rafa Ben… more

Observations on Dancing Part II From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (7 days old)

If you happened to be in Lloyds in Newport last night and if you had the monumental misfortune to witness a large, somewhat inebriated gentleman who looked as if he should have been old enough to know… more

Observations on Luck From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (8 days old)

Ok so its Friday 13th. Anyone reading this cowering under the bedclothes, too scared to move in case it all goes tits up? Doubtless someone will be. Its amazing how the randomly chosen date of a Frenc… more

DIRTY JOKE FRIDAY!!!!!!!! From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (8 days old)

Kinkier than kylie in a St Trinians uniform. Sicker than going down on your missus during rag week. Have another fix of your favourite, fantabulous, filthy friday funfest!!!!! The old boy was a bit m… more

Observations on Jungle Jerks From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (9 days old)

Oh dear god. Its nearly that time of the year again when ITV goes into mental mode overdrive and presents another bunch of wankwits, has beens and never weres for us to watch acting like tits and gene… more

Observations on A Vibrating Cock Ring From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (10 days old)

Perhaps its because I seldom use such things (the Scouts motto of Be Prepared means I always have precautions in my sky rocket for those occasions when my Stellavision tunes in spectaculary), or perha… more

Observations on Dancing From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (11 days old)

Oh fuck, this could get embarassing. Friday is my mate Kyles birthday and being a bit of an animal of a party persuasion he wants to try out a new nightclub in Newport. Now unless I end up drunkenly c… more

Observations on Kingsmill Confessions From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (12 days old)

Ok, I accept that white sliced bread is not the most exciting thing to make an advert about. I doubt that the top brass at Saatchi and Saatchi or whoever bothered to get themselves all worked up about… more

Observations on Rememberance Sunday From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (13 days old)

To the fallen we will never forget. To the living, in danger as we speak wherever you are, you are in our thoughts. We will remember them. Please all wear your poppies with pride. You may not agree wi… more

Observations on There Isn't A God From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (13 days old)

Ok ok, what with Aruna Dindanes hatrick against Wigan being a somewhat distant memory, I've changed my mind. My blog, my rules and all that. But really, how the fuck can there be an all powerful deity… more

Observations on A True Story (Allegedly) From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (13 days old)

A story I was just reminded of when nattering to an old Islander in the bar. As the saying has it, every village has its idiot and the Isle of Wight has more villages than most. Well the tale goes th… more

Birthday's From Heatherchef in Heatherchef Blog (13 days old)

Today was my Dad's birthday, I felt quite bad for not being able to afford to buy him much. In the end I put £10 in with his birthday card. He wants a Sat Nav, so he will be putting the £10 towards on… more

Observations on Puritans & Pole Dancers From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (14 days old)

This Island of ours exasperates me at times it really does. Now correct me if I am wrong but I thought nearly eight years ago the world entered the 21st Century? I also believed we lived in a fairly … more

Push ahead From Heatherchef in Heatherchef Blog (14 days old)

Well its been a while since I wrote in my blog, so I though I better give a update on whats been happen with me for the last few days. I've been pushing ahead with my business plan to start a shell c… more

DIRRRTY JOKE FRIDAY!!!!! From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (15 days old)

Filthier that frotting against Phil Mitchell. Rougher than riding Joan Rivers bareback. Its that Friday feeling time!!!!! Isn't it amazing how thoughts can trancend continents? Just the other day one… more

Observations on An Open Letter To Anne Robinson From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (15 days old)

Dear Anne I hope you can take this but if you cant I really don't give a fuck. After all people in glass houses and all that. You really are the most odious woman ever to be employed on Brit… more

Observations on A Whistling Wanker From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (17 days old)

Its quarter to seven in the fucking morning, its freezing cold, still dark enough for the moon to be brighter than your average Oxbridge kid, and some daft twat has just got on the bus whistling like … more

Observations on Michael Jacksons Seance From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (17 days old)

Please forgive me but I saw a trailer for this 'live Michael Jackson seance' on Sky tonight and damn near put the telly through the window. Has there ever been a television programme anywhere near thi… more

Observations on I Think McDonalds Owe Me From pompeycaulkhead in Observations From A Small Island (18 days old)

As you may have noticed I have put a feejit thingy on my blog on the advice of Sparkles. Its not that I am nosey and want to know where you all come from or anything (and even if I was this thing is m… more

Stay on track From Heatherchef in Heatherchef Blog (19 days old)

I've spent the best part of last week pushing myself foward and trying to get somewhere with my life. Sometimes I feel like giving up on this. I feel there is a market for upmarket shell gift, but its… more